After watching TV today, I've seen like 2 wedding movies. On top of being in Lindsey's wedding, I was just informed that over Thanksgiving, Ashley got proposed to...AGAIN!

Bottom line- I'm wicked jealous of these people.

I'll take any of these:







[I'm ready for this one...I've been debating for a while, but I think it's time]


[Not this exact coat, but something equally as TWEED-ish]


and as always: various cardigans from JCREW, spa day - massage/pedi/mani/facial



[Center Ice for an exciting night of Bruins bashing the crap out of another (less amazing/hot) team]

Hrm...still thinking

music: Got My List (7 Seconds Cover)by Jonah Matranga

I need a second to vent.

Honestly, sometimes I just get so annoyed with people it's ridiculous. I tell myself that I don't care, and usually I don't, but then it dawns on me that maybe I'm just too nice to some people and pretty much set myself up to be used.

Maybe I don't have all the facts & details, but really, I'm going to go by what I already know. OK. So as I journaled before, last year I was fortunate enough to become friends with LJ, my co-worker. At first our differences were apparent and I more or less helped her get her feet in the door. In terms of schooling, work & summer jobs, I helped her because she had just moved here. Never the less, we pretty much became bffs and as the year progressed we also added Abby to make our trio. In the school people break off into their cliques and ours was made known.lolz.

Any how, this year she knew I needed extra $, so she helped me get that weekend job @ her bf Chris's business which is a sports center so in return, I told her who to contact for summer employment with the town. We maybe hung out once all summer, but it was OK because I understand that people have jobs and things to do. After numberous attempts to include her --because I knew the only people she could hang out with were her bf & his brother, both Abby and I gave up because she constantly blew us off or ignored our invitations.

This weekend Abby invited both her and I to go out on Saturday for lunch and mani/pedis. I couldn't go because I was at the hospital visiting my sick great aunt...however, LJ said to Abby that she had work all weekend and didn't have a minute to rest. Both of us discussed how it seemed a little awkward that a person could have such a jammed schedule & yet the times that she says she's working don't add up. I went to babysit this afternoon and Sylvie said that on Saturday late morning she went to the local diner to get some brunch with her mom and saw LJ and her bf Chris with a large group of people being really loud. Sylvie said she only found out it was her because she got up to go to the bathroom and LJ called her over to say hi. When Sylvie told me this, I was so disgusted because not only did she lie to me, but she also lied to Abby. Honestly, why can't people just be honest? I've always said, if you don't want to hang out, just say it!

I get that plans change, but if that's the case and it's too last minute you can always say that things changed and maybe you can reschedule for a later date, right?!


I don't know. I get that she probably made new friends at her job over the summer, but that doesn't give her an excuse to just be forthright rude. She knows that I continue to nanny Sylvie and that I'd get word that she bumped into her aka caught in a lie. I just think it's lame.

In better more happier news, Owen's new album comes out on the first day of autumn sept 22nd and I'm sooo excited. I kept in touch with Mark over the summer and went to one of his acoustic shows and he mentioned Owen briefly but I didn't really understand what he was talking about...then I saw this and noticed he & liz are actually in the video. Mark Rose is living my dream sitting right next to/on Mike Kinsella.

Way back in early June I felt a 'change' in my body but was unaware as to what the change was or what caused it. As I finished up with work and began nannying, Sylvie, the girl I nanny for, became super super sick. Turns out she had a mild case of Swine flu. The very next week was when I began getting headaches. I rarely ever get headaches so the fact that I had them multiple times a day was very unusual for me. On top of that, I would get sick to my stomach and then I'd get very faint and lose any bit of an appetite I may have had. As July came along and it got closer to the day that I had to take my Praxis exam, I had a new symptom involving my breathing. Every time I'd got to bed, it was like my throat closed up and then I'd get a lump in there. It made me gasp for air and I would be kept awake in fear I'd die in my sleep. The week before my test I'd get a pain in my chest. I call it the "Z" shock. It would start in my upper right chest and the pain would just pulse there for a bit, then it'd spread over to the left side and go crazy. Because it's over my heart, naturally I thought I was having a heart attack. THEN, it'd spread under my right ribcage and then end on the left side. It felt as though it was like a bubble that traveled the "Z" and then after it made it to my left ribcage it would just pop. I'd get an intense pain and then be totally OK. Throughout this whole thing I found myself at times so hungry but the second food was placed in front of me, I'd either lose my appetite totally OR I'd eat and then feel like I needed to puke my brains out. This pain though would last up til an hour.

Very unusual symptoms, right? Being the hypochondriac I am, everyone in my family was just like maybe your panic attacks have manifested in a new way...it's just anxiety. I knew that wasn't it so I took it to the internet. I did a search of all my symptoms and the one article I stumbled upon suggested issues with the gallbladder.

After 2 months of trying,I finally got an appointment with my doctor. I told her my symptoms and about my self-diagnoisis. She reminded me that I admitted to her that I was a hypochondriac 3 years ago and that's included in my medical history where she leaves her notes, but I asked her if it was a reasonable explaination. She sent me off for an ultrasound. I felt like a pregnant woman, but sure enough, I have gallstones AND a tumor on my liver. My surgeon told me this is actually quite common but not so much for girls my age. He said that because I lost weight but pretty much exchanged fat for muscle the gallstones formed because of the change in how my body breaks things down. As for my liver, well...not sure just yet.

In addition to all that, I had an awkward freckle on my upper thigh. My dermatologist told me it was a perfect circle with a darker triangle inside. The biopsy showed it was pre-cancerous so I had to go back and get the entire thing extracted. I've got a huge battle wound and about 20 stitches. It is super gross looking and I'm just trying to tend to it correctly so I don't get a gnarly scar.

Drinking should probably be at the bottom of my list of things to do, however, last night at Viva Zapattas one beer turned into 2 margaritas and then another 2 beers. I feel over several times trying to get into my PJ's and got so dizzy I just barfed. I have spent all of today on my couch watching Degrassi and lifetime movies while puking non stop. I wasn't this hungover sick from drinking ever! Like even after my 21st bday I was never this bad. I'm basically a bulimic because I can't eat anything so I've dropped 5 pounds today. Go me!

Yesterday, for the most part, was one of those really relaxing and laid back, yet exciting days. I slept in. My mom woke me and dragged me to the car. Still in our PJs, we headed to Darien for breakfast. We stumbled upon this diner that looks like a house from the outside but has the whole 50's theme going on inside. It was ironic because Friday night I went to see Grease @ Staples. Any how, once we returned home I finally got to business with the jacuzzi. I shocked it, cleaned it and put in the coconut scent purifier. I took a long dip and it was 100% refreshing. I read a bit of my book which is soo sad and good.

Abby called and wanted to see if I was interested in seeing (500) Days of Summer. All I have to say is that it's one of those movies you can't help but like because it's quirky. I suppose it's on my list right next to Wicker Park, Snow Angels & August. Do I have a thing for boys in indie movies? Quite possibly.

Not only is the movie awesome, but so is the soundtrack. When I think of Regina Specktor, I'm reminded of my ex- friend & roommate, Caitlin, which grosses me out... But I seriously can't stop listening!!!!

Once the movie had ended we were at a loss for things to do. Neither of us had a ton of money so we got in the car and drove. We both remembered that the SoNo art's fest was going on so we drove to Norwalk. Tons of vendors were starting to pack up and for a second we thought we had missed out on all the fun stuff. Seconds later, we hear this awesome funk band, so naturally we both went to check it out.

Both of us were in our element. It quickly went from arts fest to eco/hippie fest. We were into the bands all night long (seriously 6:30pm-12). Melvin Sparks is offically my funk hero. We grooved and proceeded to drink Blue Moons & Sam Adams for $2. Nice stuff. Once the bands packed up and our fro-boyfriends left, we went bar hopping. Going from an outdoor festival to the inside bars where girls are dressed up to the max made us feel extremely out of place and awkward. While we were at the Ginger Man, some guy kept walking past us and then Abby said he'd occasionally glance back at me. When we moved next door to The Loft, that same guy bumped into me and proceeded to hit on me [HILARIOUS]! He seemed like a total frat boy and said that he's from like Missouri, Minnesota...some state that starts with an "M" and he was helping his parents move here and he lost his brother in the crowd. I could have killed Abby because she left me alone with him to get another drink. I'm a horrible converstaionalist as it is; throw a guy into the mix and I suddenly develop a speech impediment or something. Those two minutes seemed like two hours. Ugh, my glasses we so fogged up and let's face it, I was drunk. He could have been butt uggs or wicked hot, but alas, I was drunk so I'll never know. Here's the best part...ready: I'm awkward and didn't know how to react to his small talk/ attempt to dance with me, so what do I do, I ended up giving him a highfive. Abby laughed and chugged her drink so I figured that meant he was just uggs/not my type/ I embarrassed myself and or her...whichever, and so we left. Afterwards in the car she asked me what was up with the highfive and then commented on how cute he was. I was so angry and was like...um, well he also had a brother. Get it, one for each of us. LOL. FML!

mood: thirsty music: Regina Specktor- "US"

LOL.

Ok. SO I was looking at ppl's twitter updates and actually started to read danny's (from the audition). I was a little creeped out because he's the male version of me.

Take for example these tweets:
- Holy FUCK! NHL 10 looks unbelievable. @ryanaudition better get ready!!!
2:03 PM Jul 18th from web
-I really like The Maine
2:51 PM Jul 23rd from web
***DONT LAUGH AT ME FOR THAT ONE***
-I need glasses.
11:54 PM Jul 23rd from web
- This made me laugh SO hard!!!! http://bit.ly/hduZO
3:28 PM Jul 24th from web
- Sam Adams Cherry Wheat....YUCK. Sam Adams Boston Lager....YUM:)
16 minutes ago from web


I mean, seriously...sam adams,music...hockey. TOO WEIRD!

So this nannying thing is making me more money than I was expecting. Sylvie has been sick so not only am I nannying during the day, but her mom is back at grad school getting like a 2nd master's degree or something-- so I'm here nights too.

Because she's been sick and it's been raining all week, we haven't really been able to do much. I've offically re-watched all the OC seasons because that's all she does...well, that's really all she can do.

After my hours yesterday, I went to COCO Spa. I got my mani/pedi that was much needed. I nearly screamed when the guy went to paint my pinky toe (BECAUSE IT'S BROKEN) and it was almost hilarious when he pointed out to me that it's still slightly black and blue. Speaking of feet, mine hurt. It's been making running soooo painful lately. I think I should probably get myself a doc appt.

Soon after, I hit the road with Bailey and we traveled to Hartford @ Webster for the Envyonthecoast/tbs/anberlin show. WOWZA. Not only was it sold out, but we were definitely some of the oldest people (excluding parents). I bumped into 5 of my 8th graders. They were like, "OMG MS.V! What are you doing here?" I was thinking to myself: pffffffffffffs, were you even born when TBS was 'big'?! Slightly awkward. I missed several photo opts with KNATE!. Yes, I know, I let those moments pass me by. He literally was stepping off the bus and did a big arm stretch and just stood outside looking around. I was freaking out on the inside bc he's a total hottie and nobody knew who he was. I couldn't move so I just starred. Later as we were leaving, he was buying street meat or something from one of those vendor guys and just stood out there eating all alone.With the new hair style, I nearly thought that Nathaniel replaced him bc they were total look alikes.

Ok, time for my country playlist!

Hello... It's been quite a long time. Now that the Bruins lost game 7 against the Hurricanes, I've found myself with a ton of time on my hands.

I can't but help but feel totally 'different' lately ...
Funny thing, I'm not depressed/sad.

Everything from the movies I watch, what I want to do with my life, and music I listen to is changing. While I'd like to attribute this change to 'growing up' I can't say that's the case. First of all, I've been hanging out with my cousin KT a lot more. She's been in a secure relationship for almost 3.5 years now and as much as I hate her bf (Shaun's younger brother) they do have what I would consider a healthy, mature relationship. They don't fight about about useless things that aren't worth fighting over, and while they don't always make plans to do things, they make time for each other...It kind of makes me sick. Any way, she's really invested her time in working her ass of now to save, save & do more saving for when they can get married. Gross. As a result, while we do go out places for fun, we more than likely will be found in her kitchen baking, watching HDTV or shopping for baby clothes for Bean. When we do go out, it's usually to go ghost hunting in Easton OR go to the Field and make fun of the fratty/slutty Fairfield U kids.

Moreso, I've been forced to listen to more country music than I can handle because she drives everywhere. Because it's been a constant thing in car, I've found myself adding the country station to the pre-set in MY car and I now can say I know the lyrics to about 5 Kenny Chesney, Keith Urban, Taylor Swift & Kellie Pickler songs. WOW.

In discussing 'future' plans with my mother, we've both decided that South Carolina is where she'll end up, but I'm thinking SC,AZ or TN now. I'm set on teaching for sure and hopefully this summer I'll start my drug/alcohol counseling certification program to go along with it (increase my marketability?!) I take the PRAXIS in July and I've been studying like a mad woman.

My summer schedule is super flexible which can be a good and bad thing. Assuming I get my job back for next year, I'll have exactly 35 days of summer (excluding weekends). Because of that, it'd be difficult to get another job because nobody is willing to hire for that short period of a time. I'll be nannying for Sylvie, but it'd be for like 4 hours per day @ 20$/hr. Not bad for the little amount of time and for sitting pool-side at the country club, right? I know. SO I guess I just have to watch my spending. Also, my dad & his gf were telling me how they wanted to start renting cabins on the beach like we used to in Rhode Island for 2 weeks. That sounded like fun, so I'm down. Also, Ashley hasn't been doing so great, so my mom and I were thinking of visiting her, George & Jackie in Beaufort, SC for a week or so. I really hope these mini get aways will happen. Plus, I've been in the mood to go horseback riding and to just clean tact all day. I know I should be saving and am in no financial situation that will allow me to travel, but it's like cabin fever, I just need out. Because I'll have gaps of time in my schedule, I was also hoping to use a good portion of early July to REALLY study for Praxis, more so than now & work on my grad school applications. Then if all goes well...take a few summer sessions. I can take up to 9 credits non-matriculated, so I may just do that in order to get a headstart.

OH and Lindsey asked me to be in her wedding. Intense dieting starts tomorrow.

So much nonsense nobody cares about, sorry.

What is your type of girl/guy?
Blake Wheeler/Matt Hunwick/John Tyree

When was the last time you went out?
Yesterday...it's too gloomy to do anything.

Are you dating the last person you kissed?
No

The last person you fought with?
Nicholas

What were you doing last night at 10pm?
Studying for Praxis

How long is your hair?
shoulders...

Last text message received?
thank you-- from Nick

Name something that's on your mind right now?
I have so much to do for grad school.


What were you last listening to in the car?
Silversun pickups

When was the last time you sang out loud?
in the shower

What do you really want right now?
a mani/pedi

When was the last time you got yelled at?
Ugh...???

What do you wear more, jeans or sweats?
jeans

Do you swear a lot?
I try to bite my tongue

Can you leave the house without makeup?
eh...it's usually best if i don't

Who was the last person you shared a bed with?
Natalie and Janelle...there were 8 people crowded in 1 room

Where was your default MySpace picture taken?
garden

Do you ever snort when you laugh?
on occasion

Do you know anyone who likes you?
no

Who's house did you go to last?
my dad's

What are you currently listening to?
watching cocktails

Do you bite your lips a lot?
oh yeahhh

Who was the last person in your room?
me & nick

Do you get attached to people easily?
ummmmm
i'm gonna go with no

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
it used to be mike...but he sorta fell off the face of the planet

How long can you go without your mobile phone?
forever

Do you have a secret that less than three people know about?
no

Name someone with the same birthday as you?
couldn't tell ya

When was the last time you cried?
last night...i was reading that nicholas sparks book...so sad

What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
archie moores

Do you think your first love affects the way you go on with life?
i can't see how it wouldn't

Honestly, if you could go back 1 month and change something would you?
idk....

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
i'm sure there are plenty

Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?
yes but in the most unromantic way possible

Do you kiss a lot of people?
LOL.no.

Are you too forgiving?
i think so

Do you have a best friend to lean on?
yerrrrrrp

Who was your last missed call on your cell phone?
nicholas

Besides this, what are you doing right now?
coffee & movie watching.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
i dont think so

Anything you'd like to say to anyone?
yehyehyeh

Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?
yeh but whyy?

Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you?
nope

What are you listening to right NOW?
80s music from this movie

Even though my bruins lost I still love them.

Best day/afternoon ever for being the losing team in NYC.

Yay for drinking and getting drunk by 1pm.

Ok...really, our seats were so amazing. We had club seats and therefore were just to the right by like a foot of the visitor club seats aka BRUINS team....and only a row away from the glass. I kept yelling at Phil Kessel and he kept looking at us. Not hard to find us as we were the only black white and gold among the sea of blue red and white. Yay for us...boo to losing to the Rangers. Whatevs.

Oh and WTF happened to Matty Hunwick?!

The awesome thing about being a teacher is the ability to re-live all the excitement that comes with a 2 hr. delay/snow day. After an hour and a half more sleep I feel refreshed and ready to take on the day an those obnoxious 8th graders.

I've got to hit up the gym this afternoon then LJ and I plan on making a huge pot of soup for us and the boys over at her apartment. Should be fun.

Oh, btw. I've been really having a rough time...I can't go to Anberlin on Sunday AND I'm also experiencing heartache for Spitalfield...I can't believe it's been a year.

Nicholas and I had a big heart to heart today. For a boy who is 'crazy' in every sense possible, he is by far the most sensitive/emotional and honest person I know. Sadly, he doesn't know what to do with these emotions other than to drink them away (no more drugs, thank GOD!).

After chatting with him, I bolted to the gym. I had realized I got stood up by LJ and sat in the parking lot for like 5 minutes debating on whether or not I should go in. I don't understand what it is, but even though we don't actually talk while we run, I like having the company while I work out. I got over it quickly and went in. I walked two miles on a huge incline and then ran another two then did some stretching/weights to tone. My ankle socks had gotten streched out and were falling off my foot. Having had forgotten to put on a new pair before I left the house, I quickly began to feel the effects of absentee socks as I ran.

After the first two miles of walking I had blisters on both ankles and as I began to run, they began to bleed. Glorious. I hate interruptions during my workout. I walked up to the front desk and my eyes locked with those of the boy behind the table. He said hey and I was just completely struck by his gorgeousness. Thankful I didn't drool and was able to respond...I was attempting to ask for a band-aid, but being the worst athlete in the room,couldn't multitask asking for a band-aid while fixing my hair. So sweaty --so I whiped the sweat off my forhead.I think he knew I probably had a blister or something which required the band-aid, but he told me to stop kicking the treadmill's ass. I guess it was a pathetic attempt to be funny, but I was sold. On my way out he waved goodbye and of course, I tripped over myself --thankfully not falling down.

I think that incident pretty much sums up my entire life.
Goodnight.

music: Pretend - Number One Gun

If you're going to have a party, 80's songs have to be played. With that said, here's my 80's playlist for 2008:

my #1 fav: Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
Tainted Love- Soft Cell
Walking on Sunshine- Katrina & the Waves
Billy Jean- M.J.
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) - Dead or Alive
Another One Bites the Dust - Queen
Centerfold- J. Geils Band
867-5309/Jenny - Tommy Tutone
Mickey - Toni Basil
Walk Like an Egyptian - The Bangles
I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany
Only In My Dreams- Debbie Gibson
Karma Chameleon- Culture Club
Whip it-Devo
Take on Me- AHA
Like A Virgin- Madonna
Come on Eileen- Dexys Midnight Runners
Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
You Give Love a Bad Name- Bon Jovi
Shake Your Love- Debbie Gibson
We Built This City - Starship
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi

PLEASE ADD YOUR FAVS

For lack of better things to do today I've slept and watched season II of Big Love practically all day. Oh, I did leave for a while in order to get a new sandwich from Rolly Poly. At times I find this show ridiculous...extremely ridiculous, however, it's also very interesting.

I love the fact that my UGGS are the kind I can actually wear without ruining when I go outside in this winter mess. I got so much money gift card-wise to Robeks and Starbucks I almost don't know what to do. Biggest Loser is starting at work and already I have lost 8 lbs so I'll probably have to cut back on my lattes even if they are skinny. It's tough going to the gym without Laura Jane forcing me to go, but I did with Natalie on Christmas Eve. Hopefully I'll make more time this week to go.My dad's girlfriend told me in a nice way that I lost weight but mostly toned up. It's good that someone noticed. I find this time off to be very relaxing but super-d-duper boring.

If I weren't nuts about saving all the money I got for Christmas, I'd probably go shopping. I definiately want this pair of Durangos that are like 90$ and that forest green jacket I saw at H&M. Back to the weight thing...I'm also a bit hesitant to go buy nicer work clothes because while I'm losing my "tire", my quads aren't getting any thinner...if anything they are getting a bulge because of muscle so my pants are fitting more loose around my waist and tighter around my thighs. Horrible proportions.

I watched the movie Revolutionary Road with Leo & Kate because I was curious to see if my aunt's restaurant made it in the film. I watched it online and the version I saw seemed to be one of the editing cuts because there were "director notes" that said things like end scene, use random lens...awkward stuff that I'd never understand. Majorly disapppointing.

This is quite a ramble due to boredom. I hope to go ice skating at some point this week. It'd be nice-- I need to get out on the ice or else I'll die.

location: Westport mood: bored music: BIG LOVE Ep. 5

Not to sound like a major Scrooge or anything, but I've noticed as I age, Christmas seems less eventful. At one point in my life I could admit to being some-what religious and all...I mean, hell...I was so inspired by Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act that I went on for like 4 years telling everyone I wanted to be a singing nun when I grew up. Those days are long gone. The whole materialistic part of Christmas has been everything I've been looking forward to these past couple of years and that defeats the purpose of the holiday entirely. Last night Kelly, Natalie and myself DESTROYED rock bank world tour. I was on drums, natalie guitar and Kelly on vox. I've named us : OUR VEIOLAS

I've got to say, my three favorite things about Christmas are:
- My dad letting me build the fire "Queen of the Fireplace"
- Watching my 2 favorite movies over and over: It's A Wonderful Life and Home Alone
- Seeing my cousins, talking with them & getting drunk

Lastly, I leave you with the song I can't stop listening to:

Just one more day until the big 22!

SO a couple things...

I was thoroughlyy disappointed by the movie, Twilight...and NO, Kelly, I was far from dazzled by E.Cullen. I'm disgusted that I wasn't. I had such high expectations and I guess the movie can never really live up to the book, right?!

I got a haircut yesterday and it was much needed. When I got it, I liked it, now I'm not sure.
After wards, I picked up my weekend gig helping LJ's bf and brother coach birthday parties. They own the batting cages (and make a ton of money surprisingly) and so she and I basically chaperoned the whole group of 5 year olds. I did 2 parties, so in total I made an easy 80$ for 2 hours. It's nice spending cash and it's only weekends really, and they don't pressure me to work all the time, so it's conducive.

Last weekend, KT and I went to the fields where I literally bumped into this kid. I nearly spilled my Captn' everywhere, but didn't. I was wicked embarrassed, so I skipped to the other side of the bar. Before I knew it, KT and I were wasted talking to our friend the bartender who gave us extreme discounts and he sorta followed me...I caught the basic info but was too wasted to really pay much more attention, although he was a total hottie. After 4 drinks each on my tab, we only had a tab of 10$ total. Glorious, but obviously we left a nice tip.

music: Elliot Smith - King's Crossing

Sao was last week and Anberlin was last night. AWESOME!!!!!


OK, so it wasn't until I got into Webster Hall that it was brought to my attention who was on this tour (& it sucked): There For Tomorrow, Straylight Run and Scary Kids Scaring Kids. Can we see WTF to this tour... like where did they come up with this lineup.

As always, Anberlin was so amazing and it sent chills down my spine. Bailey and I were in the balcony in the luxuray seats and had a great view although occasionally the speakers got in the way of me looking at my pseudo bf, Nathan. Ugh, Stephen was sooo energetic and really into the crowd and I could just go on and on about how awesome they were.





Drinks were expensive and not even that potent so I switched to beer.



Seriously, I forgot how amazing this band was. Now, of course, I've been humming their songs all day and my grade 7 kids were like wtf Ms. V...what are you singing??? SO funny.

location: Webster Hall NYC music: Anberlin - "Dismantle Repair"